Only God Knows Why


A Stranger (In every sense of the word)

I was, just this fair day, travelling on the train.  I was, in every sense of the word, minding my own business (and taking care of business, if I do say so myself) when a woman approached me.  (As a side note, I do believe that ‘approach’ is the most ominous of the neutral words.  Sounds very crimestopper-y.)

Sitting nimbly beside me, she tried her opener. 

“Are you trying to get me pregnant?”

I wracked my brain.  

Was I, in fact, trying to get this woman pregnant?  She seemed earnest, so I led my mind wander throughout my past, meandering around devious plots I may have devised concerning the fertility of others.

Aside from a few people I would have like to give a swift kick to the balls (Piers Akerman, I’m looking at you!), I was blank.   I could not come up with ever having hatched a plan to  make this stranger (who I would not know if I bumped into her in Aldi) procreate against (or for that matter, in line with) her will.

But as I sat there considering it, she continued to look very convinced that I had been attempting this. 

So, I  wondered quietly: Was it possible that I had, at some point, attempted to get this woman pregnant and completely forgotten about it?  She did seem awfully certain.  Perhaps only now it’d come back to bite me in the form of an awkward train attack and incredibly early onset Alzheimer’s. 

I was trapped in the ultimate conundrum: the idea that I definitely was not trying to do so, coupled with 22 years of experience that it doesn’t sound like something I would do versus the very certain testimony of a potentially nutty train stranger.

I gave her the best that I could come up with, faced with this affront to my self identity-assurity:

“Um…I don’t think so.”

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2 Comments so far
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ahahahah. i love and (re-love,seeing as it’s the 2nd time i’ve read it now) that story!! life has so many nutty people out there – just waiting for us to meet!

p.s. i do love the tribute to myself in the ‘wouldn’t know them if I bumped into them in Aldi’ ahaha

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Comment by heidi

ahahahahah! Yes, that was the best quote ever. I told you I was going to use it. Wouldn’t know him if I bumped into him in Aldi! ahaha

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Comment by ivegottamove




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