Only God Knows Why

My Life: The Indie Dramedy
December 3, 2010, 2:35 am
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Apparently 75% of Americans believe that their life is interesting enough to feature in a reality television show. At first glance, you’d think that 75% of Americans are really quite up themselves, but the more I think about it, the more I realise how life is crazy (Candy, baby).

I’m quite often late to work, I’m complaining that I’m tired, or that I’m feeling a little behind the eight ball. I think if you have an employee showing up late every week, it’s hard to go on believing that stuff is continuously happening. But it really is.

 I know that I really do live an incredibly privileged, perfect life, but sometimes it really does seem ridiculous.  And it never hurt anyone to have a little sook.  So if I were a baseballer, here would be the stats of the last week in my life:

1. My beautiful, waist-high vintage pinstripe skirt unravels at the seam up to my waist while I’m on the train. I have to walk, pantless, through Melbourne Central Train station at peak hour to buy a new one so I can go to work.

 As my skirt slowly unravels, I send a series of more desperate sounding text messages to my manager (fortunately, this work is on a volunteer basis):

 “Do we have any safety pins at work?”

 “ we have a sewing kit at work?”

“It was either going to be show up to work late or naked, and I chose late. You’ll thank me later.”

All my father had to say about this occurence was, “It pays to advertise.”

2. A very good friend of mine ends up in hospital incredibly unwell.

That’s all I have to say about that. She’s fantastic, and she’s not well, and it’s horrible.

 3. While staying the night with said friend at the hospital, I pass out. When I come to, they spinal board me down to the emergency department with possible spinal injuries from the fall.

 And then I need to pee. Which, they tell me, will take 5 people rolling me on and off a bed pan. I decide to hold it. For four hours, during which time, all I can do is stare at the ceiling. Ladies and Gentlemen, for my next invention, I plan a book that can be projected onto hospital rooves.

4. I meet (the day of aforementioned spinal boarding) and receive a lovely rejection text (four days later) from a boy

5. The weather is so that I concurrently have a sunburn, and my house floods.

6. My mother returns from New Zealand, complains about all the work I didn’t do around the house (where I don’t actually live, but have been dropping by to do my Grandma’s grocery shopping) and finds my ipod which was lost a year ago.  She calls to ask me if she can keep it, the first time I have heard from her since she left, a month ago.

7. My phone gets stolen on the train.

8. I get a new phone and drop it on the road.  Then a car hits it.

9.  My shoe falls apart while I’m waiting for a train.  Which isn’t coming, because all of the trains on my line have been suspended indefinitely for the rest of the evening.

If I then expand the time frame to two weeks, I can include:

10. My car billowing smoke, and then refusing to ever start again.

11. My final ever honours university exams

12. Finding out a boy from my work has thought, for the past six months, that I’ve been in love with him.

This is quite hilarious, really, as I do like to think of all the times we’ve talked where I’ve felt fine, and he’s felt incredibly awkward.

13. I see someone at a party who I used to be quite good friends with, and they don’t speak to me.

14.  In the space of 14 days, I attend 8 parties.  Go to one of three  jobs (one of which they pay me for, two of which are volunteer) 10 times and drink 16 coffees.  I go to the beach twice, attend concert orchestra twice, go to a protest and watch an entire season of Gossip Girl.

Tell me about your crazy weeks. What are the ridiculous things that happen to you?


3 Comments so far
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Nothing hugely eventful has been happening to me lately.. my partner has stubbed his toe at least 13 times in the last 2 days.. I tripped over my own feet at work and feel head over heels (thankfully I was the only person in the office at the time!) and I found a lizard / nobby nobby in an office at work and spent half an hour trying to get it to run out the front door without picking it up.


Comment by sunnyandfine

I wish my life was half as eventful. All that life ever dishes me is boredom, and then when something good does happen – it gets taken away pretty quickly. So I’ve learned to savour the good times, cos they don’t last.


Comment by Kerry

Kerry, I’m so sorry to read this. Is everything okay?


Comment by Vix

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